When you find out you’re pregnant, most women do the same thing. They feel the rush of joy (or shock, or both) and then, often within days, a deeper anxiety sets in: What does this mean for my job? Is maternity leave (or paternity leave) an option?
So you Google maternity leave. You review your employee handbook. Maybe you ask HR. And then you piece together something that sounds like a plan.
Here’s what I need you to know, as an employment attorney who has spent years helping working mothers navigate exactly this moment: the plan most women piece together leaves significant benefits on the table, and that’s because no one is incentivized to proactively explain it to you.
Your employer is not going to volunteer this information. HR is not going to schedule a meeting to walk you through everything you qualify for and how to take the maximum amount off possible. Understanding your rights is your job. It’s not something you want to outsource to the people most incentivized to keep you confused and impressionable. And the good news is that it is doable.
Start with what the law guarantees, not what your employer offers.
These are not the same thing, and conflating them is the most common and costly mistake I see.
There’s FMLA and PWFA as the federal minimum. You’ll want to understand these laws before you walk into any conversation with HR.
Find out what your state actually offers.
This is where most women stop short, and where the biggest surprises live.
Our states provide employment rights on top of the federal minimum.
Do not assume your employer will inform you that you are eligible for certain state protections.
Understand stacking and how to maximize your total time.
Here is the concept that changes everything once you understand it: rights stack. That means federal protections, state programs, and employer benefits can often be used in sequence rather than all running at the same time.
Federal job protection, state protections, short-term disability, and any employer-provided paid leave each have their own rules about eligibility and processes. Getting this right can mean the difference between 8 weeks of maternity leave and 20.
Before your leave begins, ask HR specifically: which programs will run concurrently, and which will run sequentially? Get the answer in writing. If the answer you receive does not match what the legal guidance says, ask again and reference the program by name.
I explain all of this in my book Moms in Labor.
Have the conversation earlier than feels comfortable.
Most women wait until their second trimester to tell HR they are pregnant. That is understandable. But the earlier you understand your leave options, the better you can plan, financially, logistically, and professionally.
You do not need to disclose your pregnancy to start researching. Learn your protections and run the numbers. Know what you are entitled to before you sit down with HR. When you do have that conversation, you will be negotiating from a place of authority and credibility.
Your employer is counting on you not knowing any of this. Prove them wrong.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Daphne Delvaux, Esq., is an award-winning trial attorney and the founder of the nation’s first law firm exclusively dedicated to protecting mothers’ rights in the workplace. Her new book, Moms in Labor: An Employment Lawyer’s Secrets To Protect Your Baby and Your Career (That HR Won’t Tell You), provides women with step-by-step strategies to balance professional ambition with motherhood. As the creator of The Mamattorney and co-founder of Chamber of Mothers, she actively advocates for national priorities such as federal paid leave, affordable childcare, and accessible healthcare. Her leadership in the women’s rights movement has earned global recognition from outlets like The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, as well as an Outstanding Trial Lawyer award. A mother of two, Delvaux continues to empower women to advocate for their needs without sacrificing their career goals.
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Cover image by Matilda Wormwood
