Why Choose Artificial Insemination?
If you’ve made the decision to have a child on your own or with a same-sex partner, you need to decide how you’ll try to get pregnant.
You might consider asking one of your male friends. Don’t. Conceiving a child together is not like borrowing your buddy’s pickup truck to help you move across town. Having a child together is a lifetime commitment. Your relationship will be forever changed. In addition, you’ll both have to decide many
things, including:
- Will you have sole or joint custody of the child?
- Will you both be involved in parenting?
- What financial responsibilities will you each have?
- What if one of you wants to have another child together in the future, but one of you has gotten married?
If you’ve made the decision to be a single or non-traditional parent, I strongly recommend you try to conceive using artificial insemination. It avoids all the messiness and the complications of conceiving with someone you know, it’s affordable, and it may be covered by your medical insurance. In addition, new parents need to maintain their friendships for sanity and support as they develop into their new roles as parents. Don’t muck up a valued friendship by trying to have a child together. If you truly care enough for each other to try to have a kid together, then consider marriage. Otherwise, hold tight to your friendship. You’ll be glad you did.
As detailed in my forthcoming book, Raising Kids Training Dogs and Living the Life You Dare to Lead, I conceived and raised three kids on my own using artificial insemination from the same anonymous donor. Our home life was loving and supportive, and my children thrived. They’re all in their 20s now and building wonderful lives. I created my amazing family using artificial insemination, and I recommend you consider this option, too.
The most important first step is to engage with a reputable organization. This will give you the opportunity to select good genes without any emotional or legal concerns. You’ll be in the driver’s seat. Ideally, the organization has a broad, diverse selection of donors so you can find traits that align with your desires for your child(ren). Ask the organization about their policies for conceiving additional children in the future using the same donor as I did. Take advantage of the organization’s experience, classes and support to help make your journey into parenthood successful – both to conceive and to talk about it to your kids and others.
To select the right donor, decide what’s most important to you. Not knowing what the donor looked like other than basic info such as height, weight, complexion, eye & and hair color, and ethnicity did give me some pause. However, I realized that most of us fall somewhere in the middle of the attractiveness scale, and beauty is not just a function of physical features; rather, attractiveness is influenced by personality, confidence, and kindness. I set aside any concerns about the donors’ looks and focused on my three key criteria: 1) no health or medical issues with the donor or his family, 2) over 6 feet tall, and 3) Western European ethnicity. The organization I used had 35-40 active sperm donors at the time, and my criteria narrowed my choices down to a handful of donors. I ordered their extended family medical info and personal profiles, which contained answers to 10-12 open-ended questions. Their responses gave me a sense of each of the donors’ personalities. The donor I selected met my three key criteria and seemed similar to me in his values and approach to life.
While shopping for sperm can feel strange and somewhat surreal, I believe artificial insemination is the safest, most responsible way to try to create a family if you don’t have a male partner. There are no legal or emotional entanglements, and by using a reputable organization, you can have confidence in their medical testing and screening protocols. In addition, if your first child is as amazing as you hope it will be, you too may also consider expanding your family using the same donor in the future.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sally Munn is a retired credit professional, and during her 40+ year career, she served in leadership positions for 19 years. Her experience suggests that being a parent made her a better manager, and being a manager helped make her a better parent. As an avid saver, Sally retired early when faced with an unpleasant work situation and Return To Office mandates post-COVID. Her first major project was writing the upcoming book Raising Kids Training Dogs and Living the Life You Dare to Lead (Ingrim Sparks, 2025), which outlines her parenting philosophies while sharing her unique journey into
parenthood. Her main goals in writing the book were to create a legacy for her own kids and to share her “secret sauce” with others.