Dear Parents, Here’s What Your Nanny is Really Thinking:

As an industry leader with over 25 years of experience…I have heard it all. Below, I have outlined some very important, and too often unspoken, dynamics/topics that can help ensure happy and productive relationships between nannies and the parents who employ them.

Nannies are professionals who do some of the most important work in your household: caring for your kiddos. While nannies may adore your family (especially your kids), they are still navigating a delicate professional dynamic—one where honesty is often filtered or “polished” for the sake of peacekeeping and avoiding awkward conversations! So, in the spirit of clarity, harmony, and smoother households, here are five things your nanny is really thinking…

1. Nannies Want and Deserve Your Respect

It sounds obvious, but you would be shocked how often I hear this complaint from nannies. “Respect” doesn’t just mean being polite (though that matters); it means recognizing and appreciating the significance of what nannies do within your household. As you know better than anyone else, spending each day with your kids is a big and important job, and you want to build a relationship with your nanny that is built on respect and trust. Nannies are your kids’ teachers, guides, and protectors. Your nanny is leading your kids to become good little humans. Please treat them as such.

The best way to show respect is to tell your nanny (often) that they are doing a great job, show up on time, and don’t leave a sink full of dirty dishes for them to clean after the weekend. Say ‘thank you’! These things are simple but go such a long way. Offering vacation, paid holidays off, or an annual bonus are all worth their weight in gold. Clear communication is also a must.

2. Take Your Nanny’s Advice

Chances are, you hired your nanny because they have more experience than you! This is most often the dynamic, and your nanny knows this. You are the parent, so what you say goes; however, it’s important to remember that your nanny is likely bringing years of experience to the table, and has a lot of great advice to offer! So, hear them out and let your nanny know that you appreciate them caring enough to offer advice, and for taking part in your kiddo’s life. Nannies don’t want to overstep, so it’s important to always keep boundaries and clear communication in mind. The more information you can give your nanny about your parenting style, techniques you follow, or books you’re reading, the better your relationship will be

3. Don’t Micromanage—Trust Goes Both Ways

This can be a dealbreaker for nannies. Imagine you are at the office and your boss is constantly coming over to your desk to see what you are working on. Think: Bill Lumbergh from the movie Office Space! You would feel like you’re not doing an adequate job. It’s true that your nanny is taking care of your most prized possession(s), but boundaries are essential, and micromanaging never ends well. Creating boundaries around things like occasional “pop-ins” when you are working from home will set you up for success! If you want to join your nanny and your kiddo for lunch, make sure you have a plan so that you are not disrupting the child’s routine. And for the love, if your nanny says ‘no’ to a cookie before lunch, respect that they are in charge for the time being. A monthly check-in conversation is a great idea to set expectations and boundaries.

4. Treat Your Nanny Like a Professional

Being a nanny is a career. Your nanny is not “just a babysitter”; nannying is a profession to be taken very seriously. Nannies pride themselves on raising children… your children. Oftentimes, a nanny is with the kids more than the parents, so treating your nanny as a professional is key. Acknowledging their expertise will help establish a positive tone for the relationship.

Another good way to treat your nanny like a professional is to stick to the industry standards on pay, paid vacation, holidays off, and paid and guaranteed hours. If you’re coming home early and letting your nanny go, you should still pay them for their time. Not having a concrete number of hours can be very stressful financially for a nanny. And, if you want to drive your nanny job offer home, health insurance is a huge plus!

5. The Importance of a Clear Contract

There is no other way to say this: a contract is a must. Unfortunately, a handshake won’t do! A contract is about clarity, fairness, and preventing future misunderstandings about hours, pay, and expectations.

A contract with your nanny should clearly specify:

• Schedule, hours, and start date
• Compensation (including overtime, if applicable)
• Paid time-off, holidays, and sick days
• Responsibilities (child care vs. house manager)
• Expectations
• Notice periods for resignation or termination
• Tax information

A contract will establish a tone of professionalism and help prevent misunderstandings. As they say: clear is kind.

Final Thoughts: Nannies want to do a great job.

Nannies are in this industry because they love children. They didn’t get into this industry to pick up dog poop or vacuum the garage. They choose this work because they love becoming a part of a family, watching and participating in milestones, and loving on your kids. Nannies deserve to be seen, heard, and respected. Have honest conversations with your nanny and be present. Treating your nanny with dignity, professionalism, and appreciation will ensure you have a long, rewarding relationship, and your kiddos will thrive as a result!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sarah Davis is the founder of Nanny Playbook and Olive You Nanny Agency

ABOUT NANNY PLAYBOOK BY OLIVE YOU NANNY

Olive You Nanny helps today’s families find the proper support for their growing needs, from nannies to house managers, family assistants, and more. Its recent launch of Nanny Playbook allows parents the flexibility to search for a nanny on their own, giving them the tools necessary. With interview guides and contracts, every parent can start their search off successfully. Follow them on Instagram @oliveyounanny.

We have built a thorough guide called The Nanny Playbook to help you as you start your nanny search. Find everything from tips and tricks to contracts and reference questions! A “Do it Yourself” Nanny Search Guide. Learn more at: www.nannyplaybook.com and www.oliveyounanny.com

Cover Image by Kampus Production