December 2, 2025

The First Five Years: How Parents Can Spot Early Signs of Neurodivergence and Advocate with Confidence

Early intervention can help your child get the right support to promote social development and school readiness

The first five years of your child’s life are full of wonder, surprises, and the constant question every new parent asks: “Is this normal?” It’s estimated that approximately one in five children in the U.S. is neurodivergent, meaning they may think, learn, or communicate in ways that are different from what we expect. As understanding of neurodivergence grows, equipping parents with practical tools to recognize early signs empowers them to collaborate effectively with healthcare and education professionals on support plans that help children thrive.

As an educator and the Dean of Pastoral Care at Crimson Global Academy (CGA), I support students with learning differences and mental health challenges every day. I see how early signs can emerge in routine moments like mealtime, transitions, school, playtime, or social interactions. Early identification of challenges isn’t about labeling kids. It’s about opening doors and offering opportunities to children to grow and thrive. Those early years are critical because when families, caregivers, and educators recognize a child’s needs at a young age and communicate openly, we dramatically increase our chances of helping that child build confidence, feel understood, and transition successfully into school.

Here’s what parents of young children should know about spotting early signs of neurodivergence, communicating concerns, and advocating confidently from day one.

Trusting Your Parental Intuition

Every child is unique, but parents are often the first to sense when something could need extra attention. Differences in learning, communication, and behavior don’t mean your child is less capable; it means they might need support in different forms.

Part of early identification is trusting your parental intuition. If you notice emotional, sensory, or behavioral patterns that seem unusual or concerning, reach out to your pediatrician.

Emotional Dysregulation as an Early Signal

One of the earliest indicators that a child might need extra support is emotional dysregulation. Emotions that seem bigger than the moment can sometimes signal that a child is struggling with emotional processing or sensory input. Instead of bouncing back quickly, a child might:

Struggle to calm themselves;
Become overwhelmed by changes in routine or transition; or
Show frustration that feels “catastrophic.”

Age is a contributing factor. If a parent asks me whether dysregulation in a two-year-old is cause for worry, my response is to continue to watch and make note of changes. Two is often too early for a formal diagnosis, and many behaviors blend into the normal chaos of toddlerhood. More telling signs typically emerge by age 5, especially in daycare or preschool environments with routines and expectations. Structure often reveals what home environments might mask. When children start navigating routines, transitions, and peer interactions, the patterns become clearer.

Difficulty With Change and Transitions

Many neurodivergent children rely on predictability. Schedules, expectations, and familiar routines form the backbone of their sense of safety. When something changes unexpectedly, such as when yesterday’s rule doesn’t apply today, the shift can feel earth-shattering to them.

Transitions, too, can be a major challenge: moving from playtime to dinner, from dinner to chores, or from TV to bedtime. If your child is having a lot of trouble transitioning, it can be an indicator. You can support your kids at home by:

Preparing them verbally for what happens next, such as “When we’re done eating, we’re going to wash our hands”;
Using visual schedules; and
Building consistent routines.

These small steps often make a big difference.

How to Communicate Concerns

First-time parents often struggle with whether to share everything with a caregiver or teacher. My advice is simple: If it feels important, tell them. But also give your child space to be known as themselves. Communication should be thoughtful, not frantic. You know your child best, but teachers and caregivers need time and context to see patterns too. Still, it’s ultimately better to over-communicate than under-communicate.

If a pediatrician, teacher, or childcare provider raises concerns, it’s worth following up with a specialist. If you see challenges only at home, that also matters, as sometimes home routines clash with what your child needs developmentally. Remember: asking for help is proactive care, not failure.

Foundations of Advocacy, Even Before School Starts

You don’t need a diagnosis to start advocating for your child. You don’t need forms, labels, or the right words. You just need observations, questions, and the willingness to partner with the people who care for your child.

When I build accommodation plans at CGA, I don’t begin with paperwork. I begin with a conversation that’s centered on the whole child, not just the challenges. I ask families to tell me everything:

What does your child love?
What does your child do well?
What’s hard for them?

The foundation of effective advocacy is knowing your child’s strengths as clearly as you know their struggles. Strength-based planning allows children to feel empowered rather than labeled, and helps educators build support structures that actually work. For example, we provide personalized learning plans based on students’ strengths and then offer small class sizes and flexible pacing in their learning path so neurodivergent children thrive.

No two neurodivergent children look the same. The goal isn’t to fit them into a mold. It’s to understand who they are today and help them grow into who they can become. Every neurodivergent child brings strengths, perspectives, and talents that enrich our communities.

Early recognition and responsive support can change the trajectory of a child’s development and learning experience from a young age. Trusting your instincts, paying close attention to emotional regulation and behavior during everyday moments, and observing how your child adapts in structured environments can help you identify when additional support might be helpful.

Most of all, communication—among parents, teachers, and specialists—is the foundation for a strong start. The more openly we work together, the more confidently our children step into their early school years. Early identification doesn’t define your child’s future, but early support can shape their experience.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mikayla Wagner, M.A., holds a Master’s in psychology and is the Dean of Pastoral Care at Crimson Global Academy, where she focuses on addressing students’ emotional, social, and academic needs, including Individual Educational Needs and Abilities (IEANA) plans and accommodations.

Cover image by Ilkin Safterov