November 18, 2025

School vs. Daycare: Why the Distinction Matters for Your Child’s Future

When I was a first-time parent looking for a preschool for my son, I had no idea what I was doing. Both of my parents were educators in public schools, so I believed in public education, but beyond that I needed guidance. I hired a school consultant to generate a list of possible schools and help me understand what each of them was offering. I then toured what felt like every preschool in New York. At the end of my exhaustive search, I finally found Brooklyn Preschool of Science (BPOS). I was blown away by the inviting educational spaces, the staff was ready to accommodate my son’s food allergies and asthma, and most importantly, it felt like everyone from the executive director to the classroom aides really saw my son and were dedicated to helping him learn—even at age 2. I ended up sending both of my sons to BPOS from ages 2 to 4, and it has had an enormous impact on their academic and social lives. If you’re starting your own search for the preschool that’s best for your child, here are some key questions to ask that I hope will help you make a decision.

Is the learning environment inspiring?

When you’re touring a preschool, bear in mind that this is the place your child will be spending most of their time outside your home. Look for a space that’s colorful and inviting, where every part of the room offers possibilities for fun and engagement. Even the walls should foster curiosity and learning. BPOS, for example, has a living wall covered in plants and another wall full of tanks with the animals in them. When my boys were there, one of the walls included an art installation of a tree whose leaves were photos of the children.

My younger son is going into sixth grade, and I still have a memento of another photo wall from his preschool years. It’s a ladder made out of popsicle sticks, and laminated on it is a picture of him, at 3 years old, reaching up the ladder. I get goosebumps when I think about it. It’s a precious photo, and it’s also a visual representation of my son’s learning journey.

Is it a daycare or a school?

During my search, I experienced the distinction between a daycare and a school. In both places your child is cared for all day, but at a school, teachers come prepared with daily lesson plans so that the kids learn as they play. A school can be nurturing and sweet and still teach kids to be curious and creative by taking an inquiry-based approach that encourages them to look at the world around them and ask “why?”

I was recently watching a video of one of my sons in his 2-year-old class. They were all sitting there in snowflake hats they made, and they were singing. It looked like fun, but those kids were learning about why snowflakes look like they do, and they were learning to sing in a group.

What made my sons’ preschool years unique and special was a combination of inquiry-based learning and hands-on activities from raising chicks to painting leaves. These creative projects felt like play to my sons, but they’re also well-thought-out, age-appropriate STEM lessons created by teachers who are attuned to each student’s individual needs.

Does each child get individual attention that leads to early intervention?

Of course, individual needs go well beyond academics. If your child has any kind of special needs or learning challenges, early intervention makes an enormous difference. I feel fortunate that, despite my son’s food allergies, he never had a problem during preschool. There were always multiple adults in the classroom, and they were focused on every individual child. When you’re visiting schools, one way to gauge the level of attention your child will get is to notice who gives the tour. Of all the schools I visited, BPOS was the only one where the tour was conducted by the owner himself.

This sort of attention can head off behavior or academic issues before they become problems. When my son was three going on four, I got a call from his school and they said “We’ve noticed a little bit of different behavior, and we want to talk to you about it.” It was something fairly subtle about his interaction with different children in the classroom. We addressed it, and there was never an issue. I was so grateful that his teachers were attuned not only to his learning style, but to his social style, as well.

What kind of academic and social foundation will this place give my child?

During my sons’ earliest years in preschool, they built strong foundations of learning that have helped them thrive at one the most academically rigorous K-12 schools in the city. My older son wants to be a biologist or go pre-med. Where did he get this affinity for nature growing up in the city? I believe it came from being around animals and plants every day during his formative years.

Spending three years in the same preschool has also built my sons’ social foundations. My younger son’s best friend is someone he met in his 2-year-old classroom, and they’re still best friends despite attending different schools since kindergarten. In fact, a “crew” of four or five boys developed a strong friendship bond in preschool that lasted many years.

Among the many differences between a school and a daycare, to me the most essential one is that everyone at a school is focused on who each individual student is and who they’re going to become. My advice to first-time parents is to invest the time and effort into searching for the right preschool. These are our children and, frankly, 2 to 5 are their most formative years, when they have the potential to begin loving learning. Finding a place that works for your schedule is great, but finding a place where an attentive staff is always looking at your child to see how they learn is gold.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cortney Stapleton is the CEO of the Bliss Group and the mother of two boys. She can be reached via LinkedIn.

Cover image by Pavel Danilyuk