I was ready for the baby. At least, I thought I was…

I had done the reading, packed the hospital bag, and spent months imagining what life would look like after birth. I knew it would be different. I even expected it to be hard. But there wasn’t anything I could find, not a class, book, or conversation that would prepare me for the moment we came through the front door with a newborn and no idea what to do next.

I felt anxiety almost immediately. Not stress or nerves. Real, physical anxiety. There was no routine. No guide. No team of nurses checking in. My husband and I looked at each other with the same wide-eyed panic: What do we do now?

I also didn’t expect postpartum to feel like an identity crisis…

People don’t really talk about how lonely those first days can be. Or how disorienting it is to care for a tiny human while your own body is still healing. And when they do talk about it, it’s usually jokes about sleep deprivation or not having time to take a shower. What I experienced went much deeper than that.

I didn’t have a baseline for what was normal, so every small decision felt overwhelming. How often do I feed him? Change his diaper? Why wasn’t he latching? My body was sore. My hormones were crashing. And I felt pressure to pretend I was doing fine when I wasn’t. We’re expected to mother instinctively, but no one tells you that instinct needs support.

What Helped Me Most (Besides My Husband)

Eventually, I started pulling together a few tools and routines that helped me feel slightly more human. Some of it came from trial and error. Some of it came from asking for help, even when I wasn’t sure what I needed.

While there’s no shortage of products people tell you to buy, these are the ones I actually used, and kept using, in the first few weeks postpartum:

Mommy First Postpartum Recovery Kit

• This kit came with everything I needed for recovery, like mesh underwear, cooling pads, and other supplies I didn’t even think to buy ahead of time. It helped me feel more prepared in those early days at home.

Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter

• This helped with the pain I felt in the first weeks of breastfeeding. I used it all the time between feeds.

Momcozy Nursing Bras

• These were the only bras I wanted to wear postpartum. They were soft, comfortable, and made nursing or pumping easier without fussing with multiple clips or extra layers.

Medela Hands-Free Pump

• This pump gave me some freedom to move around while pumping, which was especially helpful when I was trying to multitask or didn’t want to be tethered next to an outlet. It helped me build pumping into my day and feel more like myself.

Annabella Double Electric Pump

• This one was quiet, gentle, and had a built-in night light, which made it easier to use during middle-of-the-night pumps. It has multiple speed settings and a suction pattern that mimics a baby’s feeding rhythm, which helped me settle into a routine without discomfort.

Having Postpartum Support at Home Changed Everything

None of these products solved everything, but each one made a hard moment a little easier. Still, no item on a checklist can offer the kind of support new parents really need.

After two nights and three days in the hospital, we were sent home. That was it. No follow-up, no hands-on guidance. If something felt off, we were told to go to the emergency room.

That’s when I learned that other countries treat postpartum differently. In many places, nurses visit your home, and new mothers are given space to rest and recover. Postpartum care like this is built into many national healthcare systems. Learning that was eye-opening. Why wasn’t this the norm in the U.S.?

A few days later, I found Boram at Home, a service in New York City that connects new families with postpartum support. Different providers came into my home for individual visits, including lactation consultants and doulas, and each brought a level of care I didn’t realize I’d been missing.

One of the doulas, who was also a licensed lactation consultant, noticed something that had been making breastfeeding more difficult and painful than it needed to be. With her insight, I made an appointment with a specialist who helped me understand what was going on and how to address it. Without that early support, I might have given up trying to breastfeed. Instead, I was able to continue with far less pain and a lot more confidence.

She helped me recognize feeding cues, set up a routine, and learn how to use my own baby products, from bottles and wraps to the changing station and pumping tools. She also adjusted my pumping schedule to prevent engorgement and mastitis.

While the service I used is based in New York, there are similar in-home support services available in other areas. It made such a difference to learn these things in my own home. I wasn’t reading an article or watching a video. I could apply their guidance in the moment.

What I’d Tell Other New Parents

While support in those first weeks is essential, it shouldn’t end there. I stayed connected to other new moms and had access to information I could return to, whether I had questions about clogged ducts or sleep routines. Being able to revisit that kind of support helped me feel more confident and less isolated.

If I have another baby, I’d bring this type of support in earlier and for more time. Especially with a toddler in the mix, I know how valuable that early support will be.

It’s still wild to me that home support services for postpartum care are not as widely known or as accessible as they are in so many other countries. In comparison, in the United States, we are left to figure it out on our own. Obtaining specialized postpartum care to fill the knowledge gaps should be commonplace to help new parents heal, learn, and settle confidently into parenthood.

If you’re a new parent, know this: You don’t have to do it alone. And you’re not supposed to.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Iryna Svezhh is a first time mom living in NYC. She is an advocate for improving postpartum support in U.S. and raising awareness about support programs like Boram At Home. She shares her journey on her Instagram.

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Cover photo provided by Iryna Svezhh

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