It can be hard for first-time parents to figure out when they can bring their younger children to more public spaces. Restaurants are tricky, but here’s how to teach your little one proper etiquette and ensure they’re ready for the environment.
1. Practice at Home First
Before taking your kids to the big leagues, teach them proper etiquette at home. About 60% of married people say a child misbehaving at a table next to them spoils their evening, so think of this as a trial run that won’t inconvenience others.
Add a fun spin, like dressing up for fine dining and becoming their server for one of the sessions. Take turns and let them be the waiter, too — making them set the table teaches them the different utensils and how it takes hard work.
2. Discuss Table Manners
While practicing at home, pointing out some table manners your kids should mind can be helpful. Consider introducing these concepts one at a time to avoid overwhelming them. Here are some easy-to-understand habits:
- Wash your hands before eating: Hygiene is a must when dining out, so ensure your kids wash their hands before eating. For establishments without wash areas, you can practice using wipes and sanitizer.
- Wait until everyone has their food: Some little ones dive into their plates when they arrive. However, waiting for everyone’s food before digging in together is a good habit to build. Just remember to have these patience exercises when they’re not too hungry.
- Eat quietly and slowly: Make sure your children aren’t chewing loudly and stuffing their mouths with too much food. It can also be off-putting if they talk while their mouths are full. If they want to chat during the meeting, teach them to swallow before speaking.
3. Look for a Family-Friendly Restaurant
Once you feel like they’ve grasped basic etiquette and table manners, it’s time to search for a family-friendly establishment to practice in. More families are dining in restaurants more often since it’s a convenient way to get food, so there should be plenty of options.
If you have toddlers with you, look for a place with high chairs and play places. You should also prioritize going to a restaurant that serves food that the kids will like. The happier the tummy, the more behaved they may be. Plus, looking in advance means you can find allergen-friendly options if your child has any food allergies.
4. Pick a Good Time
The schedule also matters when teaching your kid proper etiquette. Narrow down the best time of day for their mood and needs. If they seem crankier in the mornings, lunch and dinner may be a more viable practice time.
You can also consider going during a restaurant’s off-hours. Fewer people will be there, so you can focus on being with your kid. A quieter environment will also be less overstimulating, which is good for keeping your child calm.
5. Pack Your Essentials
Make sure you’re packing wisely ahead of the dining session. Mobile devices can be good if you want to give your little one some screentime, but it’s important to let them know they can’t be on them the entire time. You can opt for distractions like toys and puzzles.
If your child feels a little anxious, having familiar items like a security blanket or their favorite plushie can ease them out of their comfort zone. Some parents also like to bring a set of snacks to serve as appetizers, but make sure outside food is allowed on the premises.
6. Start Giving Them the Menu
Let your preschoolers choose their own meal from the kids’ menu. You can help them pick from the regular menu, as well. Point out dishes that you think they would enjoy and see what they end up asking for.
You can talk to the server on the younger children’s behalf, especially if they feel too shy. Now is also a good time to teach them to speak up about any food allergies to keep themselves safe.
7. Model Good Behavior
Notice how kids tend to imitate their old folks? One of the best ways to teach your child proper etiquette at a restaurant is to practice good behavior yourself.
For instance, it’s best to put away your cell phone in the restaurant and engage in conversation. If you’re making them put away their devices while holding onto yours, they’ll be more inclined to fight. Make a pact to put everyone’s phones on the table and use the dining opportunity to bond with one another.
8. Praise and Encourage Polite Behavior
Does your child remember to say “please” when they ask for a particular dessert? Or do they say “thank you” when service workers fill their glass with water? Remember to commend them for being kind and polite.
Positive attention can work wonders in helping certain habits stick, so let them know they’re doing a good job of being courteous. If they ask you to pass something from across the table and forget to say “please”, you can simply remind them about it.
9. Handle Crying Calmly
Restaurant etiquette training can go smoothly for some families. However, there are also instances where your child may throw tantrums in public. While it can be a little embarrassing, know it’s completely natural and you can handle these calmly.
Stop for a second and ask them to verbalize what’s making them angry. It could be how loud the music is or how impatient they feel about their food. In those cases, you must validate your child’s feelings first and look for solutions afterward.
10. Know When It’s Time to Leave
Keep track of the clock and know when it’s time to leave. Doing so is imperative if you decide to have a later dinner near the restaurant’s closing time. You should also keep track so you know when to get your children home for rest.
Also, know you can cut the visit short if the tantrums get too much. It’s completely valid, and you can ask to have your food to go instead.
11. Debrief With Your Kids
After dining out at a restaurant, make sure to check in with the little ones about their experience. Ask them if they liked the place and the food. You can also question if they would like to visit there again to gauge how much they enjoyed eating outside.
Afterward, you can discuss some concerns about their attitude in the restaurant, especially if they had fits. Be conscious of your tone and words, though, as you want them to listen to you for next time.
This is also a good time to look out for sensory issues. If your kid mentions the restaurant was too loud for them, the seats made them uncomfortable, the food’s texture was upsetting, or a combination of these things, they may require accommodations to make dining out more enjoyable.
12. Try Again and Again
Restaurant etiquette can be trial and error, and it takes some time for children to pick up the manners, but it’s vital to extend patience and grace. It’s their first time in those spaces, and they are still trying to figure out what’s appropriate or not. They’ll be more prim and proper in due time.
Learn How to Teach Your Child Proper Etiquette
Dining at restaurants is a great family experience that lets people bond over food. However, it’s essential to teach your child proper etiquette to maintain the civility and peace of the public space. It can be a lengthy process, but it’s worth it to help your child grow up and be kind.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beth Rush is Managing Editor at Mind+Body.
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Cover photo by Alex P
