A personal account of a working mom and wife who went back to school

 

The National Student Clearinghouse Research Center reports that nearly 40 million adults in America have some college and no degree. However, for parents looking to improve their family’s life, finishing a college degree is one of the best options for advancing their career. My success depended on finding a flexible, online degree program that let me continue working full-time while raising a family. Here is how I changed the socio-economic future of my family by earning my degree.

If you told me that the third and final time I would return to school would be as a 29-year-old working mom with a toddler and a career, I wouldn’t have believed you. Who waits until they have a family, a job, and a mortgage to tackle something as time-consuming as higher education?

 

Me, that’s who.

 

I met the love of my life, now my husband, as a teenager. We moved in together after high school and started attending the same community college. While I had plans to be a teacher, my future husband planned to go into accounting or finance. It seemed like an ideal start to life: live together, go to school together, get degrees together.

I did well my first year in college and then started struggling in my second year — family adversity, as well as trying to work two jobs as a full-time student, forced me to take a break. I told myself I would go back after a year. But a year later, I continued to struggle. With less than 20 credits to go, I made the tough decision to put my associate degree on hold indefinitely. My husband completed his degree, and within a year, we decided to buy our first home. The month before we moved in, he proposed! Life continued quickly: marriage, work, and then our son, Patrick.

Growing up, I remember my parents talking about college. My mom had her associate’s degree, and my dad did not finish high school, so I know they had hope for me to continue my education after their life experiences without a bachelor’s degree.  My grandfather was a professor at Northern Arizona University, which I had hoped to attend. I can remember the excitement of holding the acceptance letter in my hand and the deflation of knowing I couldn’t afford it.

School remained in the back of my mind but in a “someday” kind of way. Someday, I would go back, I would have direction, and I would have financial ability.

 

The choice to return to school

 

I was working as a personal banker at Desert Financial Credit Union when they announced a brand-new benefit for employees: my tuition would be completely covered if I attended Arizona State University and enrolled in a degree program through ASU Online.

At the time, going back to school was not a priority or an immediate goal for me, but the opportunity was too good for me to pass up. It would mean so much for our family and my career if I had a degree. Going back to school at 29 felt like a second chance at destiny.

Still working full-time, I decided to take one or two courses at a time. The accelerated online learning format meant I had to set my schedule so as not to get too overwhelmed. It had been eight years since I’d been in school. It was important for me this time to not put too much on my plate, which quickly led to burnout the last time I was in school.

One of the benefits of going back to school as an adult is that my time management skills were in peak form. I would schedule my coursework around the due dates of the assignments, and that would determine if I needed to work on assignments during the week or on the weekends. I would try to do most of my coursework on the weekends if I could, but I also wanted to be sure I balanced my time with my family.

 

 

Patrick was four years old when I started my back-to-school adventure at ASU, and I wanted to be an example to my son.  He was with me while I worked on my assignments in our spare bedroom, which had been converted into my office while I worked from home. We each had a desk, and I used my laptop while he used the PC. We were homework buddies.

It was nice to spend this time together even though I was working or “at school,” but there were many late nights where I did not want to keep pushing myself to complete assignments or worry about the quality of my work. I kept reminding myself how precious this opportunity was, thinking about my future as I pushed myself to be successful and finish.

Some nights, he would refuse to go to bed until I was ready, so he’d grab his sleeping bag and sleep next to me while I worked. These were also the moments I questioned if I was making the right choice. Should I be spending this precious time working?

Partway through school, I got a Mother’s Day gift from Patrick. His class had completed an “About Mommy” questionnaire and the teacher helped him fill in his answers. One of the prompts was, “My mommy likes to _____.” My son answered “work” because he saw me working at my job and school and how much of my time was consumed. It made me sad to think that is what he thought I liked to do; I would rather have spent time with my family!

But moments like this also reminded me how precious this opportunity was. I envisioned a future where I had finished this task and achieved success. I thought about how the flexibility of going to school online allowed me to still go on family vacations, be home for bedtime and model what working hard and persevering looks like for my son.

 

Why returning to school was worth it

 

Despite the obstacles and challenges of balancing it all, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree from ASU in December of 2023. I graduated Summa Cum Laude, with honors, and as a member of the Omicron Delta Kappa National Honor Society. The immense sense of pride I felt that day outweighs all of the struggles and frustrations that preceded it. The only thing that eclipses that feeling is the pride I feel from being a mother.

To all the parents who are thinking about going back to school, you can absolutely do it!  Learning how to schedule your time and knowing that “slow and steady wins the race” will be huge in helping you be successful. I found support in my husband, who was often the voice of reason when I felt down and unmotivated, and in loved ones and friends.

What I did was not easy, and I am so glad I pushed myself to walk across that stage. I had friends, family, and coworkers attend my commencement. It felt great to know I made them proud and to hear them go crazy when my name was called. Patrick cheered the loudest.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Candice Smith is a quality analyst and mother of one. She is passionate about giving back to the youth community through volunteer efforts and donations in support of New Pathways for Youth, Child Crisis AZ, and The Foster Alliance. She resides in Arizona with her husband and son.

Photo provided by Candice Smith