December 11, 2025

Alcoholism: Creating a Healthy Home Recovery Environment for Yourself and Your Children

Your home is your sanctuary.

An individual’s environment often reflects what is happening in their mind- a projection of the chaos, obsessiveness, or scattered thought patterns. But the reverse can also be true—creating order and calm in an individual’s home can impact and heal their mind and body. For individuals who are in active addiction, they may not notice or put time into creating a nourishing home environment. Or they may overcompensate by creating a home that reflects compulsive order and control when there is underlying chaos.

For most new parents, the home space becomes disrupted by the “stuff” and seismic changes that come along with newborns and young children. Many parents will surrender and allow their own space to become encroached on. Others will set parameters to preserve their emotional and physical space. When you are at capacity and unable to manage aspects of your life, it can be reflected in your home. And if you are stuck in a cycle of addiction, you may not be operating optimally or prioritizing your surroundings.

Your Home as Self-Care

The following is an excerpt of parents’ experiences from Parents in Recovery: Navigating a Sober Family Lifestyle.

“The misguided perception of substance use as caring for oneself feeds a negative cycle. Tracie says, “The pressures of parenting, not having much time to myself, and not being able to set boundaries while I was drinking, made me want to drink more. As I took less and less care of myself, it didn’t seem to matter if I drank at night or not.” Natasha, age 36 and sober six years, recounts that her self-care “got progressively less as my addiction progressed.” Lisa, age 64 and 38 years sober, explains, “During active alcoholism, ‘self-care’ is about feeding the addiction.” Many PIRs also experienced a sense of shame and self-loathing that prevented them from having the desire and discipline to care for themselves.”

Self-care is not just about your physical body; it is also about your physical space. The cycle of addiction can lead parents to neglect caring for themselves, their family, and their home. This can impact children as well as PIRs. A chaotic home impacts all family members’ stress levels, ability to organize themselves, be efficient, and care for themselves and their possessions. We spend most of our lives in these spaces, primarily as more people work remotely. Never before have designated spaces been more critical. Therefore, recovery involves healing yourself and your home as well.

Recovery and the Home

Early parenthood and recovery are both times of “nesting” that often involve more time at home and a sensitivity to the energy of that space. It is essential in early sobriety to live in a house that is a sanctuary and a safe place emotionally, spiritually, and aesthetically. This space involves belongings, as well as the types of substances present. Many PIRs have found that having a substance-free home allows their nervous system to relax more and their mind to be free from temptation. It can also be helpful to make changes to a house after getting sober to change the way that you behave when you’re there.

The size of a home can impact how space is utilized, but should not determine the quality of the recovery environment. Small spaces can be efficiently designed while maintaining boundaries. Parents in recovery will often need self-care or a designated area, and that can be given to their children as well. This area could be for work, relaxation, play, unwinding, and entertainment. While young children may want to take over as much real estate as they can, they also appreciate limits and order. A home for parents in recovery is a place where all family members’ spaces are respected, regardless of age. This environment also supports a healthy lifestyle with structure and balance. These qualities are not unique to parents in recovery, but they are necessary for long-term emotional sobriety.

Home Recovery Environment Changes

Figure out where you find peace in your home or yard
Create a substance-free home (especially in early recovery)
Create routines and schedules that allow order and cleaning your home to remain manageable
Determine what types of things help you to experience a clear mind in your home
Add things to your home that bring positive energy (plants, pets, art, more sunlight, candles, etc.)
Make small changes like painting a room or rearranging furniture that can change the energy of the space from active addiction.
Be honest with yourself and others about your comfort level with alcohol/substance in the house
Carve out a quiet space in your home where you can retreat when needed
Create a play area for your child that has boundaries from other rooms or within a room
Think about what could make your house more of a “home”
Remove any wine, beer, or shot glasses, paraphernalia, or reminders of past use from the home

So what would be one or two realistic changes that you could make? There is not just one way to recover, nor is there just one way to live in your home.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sarah Allen Benton, LPC, AADC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor. She is the co-founder and chief clinical officer of Waterview Behavioral Health in Wallingford, CT. She is also co-owner of Benton Behavioral Health Consulting and has consulted for various substance use disorder and mental health treatment levels of care. Sarah is the author of the books Parents in Recovery: Navigating A Sober Family Lifestyle and Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic. She has been featured in the New York Times, on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Today Show, CBS Early Show, SiriusXM, NPR, and has her own Psychology Today.com blog. For resources and information about the author, go to https://bentonbh.com.

Cover image by Seljan Salimova